In his book "The Four Loves" C.S. Lewis dicusses the four Greek words that specify different types of love. There is storge (affection), philia (the love between friendes), eros (the love between a man and a woman), and agape (eternal love-God's love). In our class discussion we mainly focused on eros. Lewis talks about eros as being the love that is both closest to agape and also the most fallen. Eros seems to make eternal promises to us when we fall in love. Indeed, if we are willing to work at a marriage, it can be a beautiful reflection of the love of Christ for his church. However, eros by itself has no power to fulfill its promise. Once the feeling of "falling in love" is past, eros can lead to divorce, neglect and sorrow.
I found it interesting when Lewis talked about making eros in itself an idol. He says this, "But Eros, honoured without reservation and obeyed unconditionally, becomes a demon." Sometimes, we are tempted to see eros as our 'fate' and follow after it regaurdless of God's law. Lewis points out that there have been God-honoring marriages without eros, and there have been times when lovers obeyed eros to God's dishonor. A God honoring marriage is one that is faithful and kind. It is not based on attraction and longing for the spouse. On the other hand. Eros cannot in any way justify the breaking of God's law.
Lewis also talks about the apostle Paul's take on eros. Paul wishes that all could be single like himself in order to focus more on God. However, Paul also suggests that, to avoid adultery, a person should marry. Lewis suggests that Paul takes this position, not because he thinks that the members of his church will be preoccupied with sex if they marry but rather, because eros puts the other before self. He understands that the fulltime duty in marriage of carring for another and maybe even for a family may take away from time that could be given to God. Even so, he understands that marriage is a good gift of God and that it is in God's plan that some members of the chrch should marry.
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i also really appreciated the point that eros is the closest/best picture that we have of agape, and yet it is the most fallen/mortal of the 4. It is amazing how God can use such fallen things to show us a picture of His true love
ReplyDeletePaula,
ReplyDeleteI think you are slightly misunderstood about what Paul says regarding marriage. He says it is good to marry, but better to stay single (which is what you said). But when advising why someone should marry I think it is more broad then avoiding adultery. He suggests that you should marry if your "desires" are too strong, I don't think this is just sexual desire. But, rather, just a desire to marry in general. If you are desiring to marry so much, you ought to marry because if not you will have an unhealthy desire.